wanna go halves on a baby?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The feeling are messing with the penis
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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