to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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