Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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