You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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