Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
