He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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