i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
