I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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