i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
