i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
