remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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