hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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