I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We are all done wearing pants today
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
