I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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