my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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