She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
