I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
