how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
