My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
