how do flat chested girls get laid?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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