SEEEEXXX PLEASE
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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