dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
