Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
worst night to have a conscience
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
