The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
