I like my sex mixed with concussions.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
