I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
