Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
