he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
