Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Randomize
