watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
