singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
