was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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