OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
