You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
