Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
