just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Randomize
