Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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