YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
