he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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