why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
