nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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