Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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