Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
