I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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