nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
