My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
