just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
