If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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