So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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