mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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