She just used a chaser for red wine.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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