just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
